About this time last year, Lydia was due to have a foot fusion and second lengthening combined. However, big doubts about the outcome began to invade our peace of mind. We had a surgery date, booked flights, cases packed and everything planned. Only 1 day before our flight, and after a few days of prayer (me) and talking it out, we decided to cancel the trip and opt for the amputation and prosthetic. Now, because of the stress of a changed plan and a irreversible plan at that, the four of us- Tim, Eliza, Lydia and me, took off up the coast in an RV to recover.
Why did we choose to amputate? Well, we were disheartened by all the pain issues Lydia was having so often. I would walk the short distance to school with the girls and Lydia would stop half way and refuse to go on because of pain. The school nurse would call me frequently with reports of Lydia's knee/hip/foot pain… It was not the life we had in mind for our little girl and we thought she'd have a better quality of life with a prosthetic.
Watching the girls play on the beach on the back of this decision was heart breaking. I couldn't stop staring at Lydia paddling in the water with her bare feet and just stared at her from a distance with tears streaming and a heavy heavy heart. To ease my nerves I began watching informational videos about how prosthetics are fitted… that made my heart heavier still and I was filled with regret. How strange it is, when you so confidently make a decision, feeling so at peace with the new road ahead and then, WHAM, full regrets fill your very being.
On the way to our beach break we backed into a Mercedes with the RV. And on the journey home, the Janis Joplin song about Mercedes played on the radio. Which I would never have included in this post only it triggered my imagination and resulted in my little song about this very crazy time in our lives.
I am very thankful Dr Paley found out about what we were planning to do which resulted in him calling us. Such a busy, well known and highly respected doctor may have just written us off- but he didn't and when we were home we had a conference call with him. He was patient, understanding and reassuring and after hearing what we had to say, suggested that a foot/ankle fusion without the lengthening until later so that we could be confident and reassured that Lydia would be pain free, would be the best option. Our U-turn, U-turned!! We came full circle and ,oh, what an emotional ride it was.
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